I Don’t Think Dick Pics Are All That Offensive

I Don’t Think Dick Pics Are All That Offensive
Björn Forenius/Getty Images

There are women out there who are downright offended when a man they've been chatting with sends a picture of their penis out of nowhere. I know. I've talked to some of these women. From sexist to perverted, I've heard the cascade of complaints. Honestly, though, I don't get why they think it's the absolute worst thing on earth.

Let me run this scenario by you. Would you buy a dress online without ever seeing a picture of it? Absolutely not. There is no way in hell you'd allow yourself to be in an ensemble without seeing it. That's how I approach dick pics. It's window shopping.

Hallmark Channel
Hallmark Channel


There is no way I'd allow something in my body without getting a sneak peak. Granted, penises are not pretty. They are basically a tool attached to a man to get a job done but at the same time, I'd like to know what I was dealing with before I committed to any sort of sexual encounter.

Sorry, I'm not about that element of surprise. Technology did not advance so I could get to know someone like the olden days and then be shocked with a less than impressive piece of equipment. Yes, size does not matter but it's nice to know they are working with something.

NBC
NBC


Swapping pictures between one another is also the best form of foreplay we could ask for in the 21st century. Sexting was glorious when I entered the dating world. Not to mention it strengthened my writing skills by 25%. If I ever wanted to get into erotic novels, I'd be 100% confident thanks to my past experiences with the men of Los Angeles I came across once upon a time.

Dick pics also take the allure away from the penis. It takes away the power the penis has somehow accumulated even though the people they are attached to cannot carry a human and birth life. Movies, TV, billboards, those creepy cards random men hand out in Vegas - they all feature boobs. Like boobs are so commonplace, we can just show them; no mystery. Yeah, there are twice as many in the world, but the penis? It's such a big deal when a man does full frontal because we've kept them hidden for so long that we still see them as the more valuable body part.

With dick pics, we're saying, "Hey, your penis ain't nothing special so you don't have to keep it locked away like a magical amulet." It's literally just a dick.

Bravo
Bravo


Now let's talk about a different sort of dick for a second. See, I'm not saying that every single dude has the right to shoot over a dick pic to any woman he wants. A coworker, boss, landlord, basically any dude you're not talking to in that way shouldn't think of a dick pic is appropriate. I'm talking about dick pics from dudes you're talking to via a dating site or from a real-life meet-cute.

When all you want is a hookup, dick pics allow you to window shop a hell of a lot faster but I get it when women say that it can be a bummer when they are looking for something serious. Well honey, if you want something serious and he shoots you over a picture of his junk within the first few messages, then that's a good thing. It helps you know that he's not about settling down and you can move on even faster. Dick pics. They work on all levels. They help you see the goods but also see the duds. They also take away the shroud of mystery and power we've given the appendage. All in all, dick pics are doing great things for us all.

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